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Grace Cathedral hill
All wrapped in bones of setting sun
All dust and stone and moribund
I paid twenty-five cents to light
A little white candle
For a New Year's Day
I sat and watched it burn away
Then turned and weaved
Through slow decay
We were both a little hungry
So we went to get hot dog

Down to Hyde Street Pier
The light was slight and disappeared
The air it stunk of fish and beer
We heard a Superman trumpet
Play the national anthem

And the world may be long for you
But'll never belong to you
But on a motorbike
When all the city lights
Blind your eyes tonight
Are you feeling better now?

Some way to greet the year:
Your eyes all bright and
Brim with tears
The pilgrims, pills, and tourists here
Will sink fifty-three bucks to buy
A brand new halo

Sweet on a green-eyed girl
All fiery Irish clip and curl
All brine and piss and vinegar
I paid twenty-five cents to light
A little white candle

And the world may be long for you
But'll never belong to you
But on a motorbike
When all the city lights
Blind your eyes tonight
Are you feeling better now?
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Killing me.

--
They say I made the moon
Everything was in the dark
No memories at all
Just a tiny freezing wind in my back
As I was sitting there
Singing a song they had never heard before
Suddenly, a voice told me
"Keep on singing, little boy
And raise your arms in the big black sky
Raise your arms the highest you can
So the whole universe will glow"

My first vision was a bush growing down the river
And I couldn't stop crying
Something was missing
I realized I was in love with a voice
I called it, again, and again
But all I heard was the echo in the light
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Don't let yourself be hurt this time
Don't let yourself be hurt this time


Then I saw your face
Then I saw your smile


The sky is still blue
The clouds come and go
Yet something is different
Are we falling in love?


Don't let yourself be hurt this time
Don't let yourself be hurt this time


Then your kiss so soft
Then your touch so warm


The stars still shine bright
The mountains still high
Yet something is different
Are we falling in love?


Falling, falling
Are we falling in love?
Falling, falling
Are we falling in love?

no time

Feb. 15th, 2016 12:11 am
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Send your dreams
Where nobody hides
Give your tears
To the tide
No time
No time
There's no end
There is no goodbye
Disappear
With the night
No time
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Colorado, Colorado
When the world leaves you shivering
And the blizzard blows

When the snow flies and the night falls
There's a light in the window
And a place called home at the end of the storm

One night on the mountain, I was headed for Estes
When the roads turned to ice and it started to snow
Put on the chains in a whirl of white powder
Half way up to Berthoud, near a diner I know

And the light burned inside, shining down through the snowfall
God, it was cold and the temperature droppin'
Went in for coffee and shivered as I drank it
Warm in my hands in the steam as it rose

Sitting there at the counter was a dark headed stranger
Me and the owner and him, keepin' warm
Nodded, Hello and I said, It's a cold one
Looks like there might be a blizzard tonight

And "Yes", said the owner", there's a big storm on the mountain
Good thing, we're open, we could be here for hours
There's nothing for miles and it's too late to get to Denver
Better not try for the summit tonight"

And the snow fell
And the night passed
And I talked to the strangers
While the blizzard blew

Me and the stranger, you know I don't talk to strangers
I'm a private sort of person but a blizzard is a blizzard
And somehow I found myself saying you'd left me
Tellin' him everything I wanted to say to you

You know how it is when you can talk to a stranger
Someone you're quite sure you'll never see again
Soon we were talkin' and laughin' and drinkin'
He said, "You must know, you're too good for him"

And the snow fell
And the night passed
And I talked to the stranger
While the blizzard blew

The stranger said, "Love, it can cry you a river
Me, I'm a loner 'cause I can't take the heartache
Sometimes I'm a fighter, when I get too much whiskey
Here have a whiskey, pretend you don't give a damn

My cabin's up here on the side of the mountain
You can go up there and sleep through the blizzard"
I put on my parka, said goodbye to the owner
Followed the stranger through the snow up the mountainside

Woke in the morning to the sun on the snow
My car was buried in six feet of snow drift
They dug me out, just the owner and the stranger
Sent me on my way when the snowplow had been by

And the roads were all clear, the sun on the mountains
Sparkled like diamonds on the peak to peak highway
Then I knew that I would get over you, knew you could leave me
But you'd never break me

Colorado, Colorado
When the world leaves you shivering
And the blizzard blows

When the snow flies and the night falls
There's a light in the window and a place called home
At the end of the storm

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This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me
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And you left with your head filled with flames
And you watched as your brains fell out through your teeth
Push the pieces in place
Make your smile sweet to see
Don't you take this away

- Neutral Milk Hotel, Two-Headed Boy Part 2
--


Got sent a reminder on the above this morning by way of a message from an old friend (the wonders of modern technology!)
Realized again that there's really so much suffering that just happens on the inside, and what may seem insignificant to us  may be a big deal to others. Nothing can be taken for granted and there are (almost?) always chances to do good.
Thank God.
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Daddy, please hear this song that I sing,
in your heart there's a spark that just screams
for a lover to bring
a child to your chest
that could lay as you sleep,
and love all you have left
like your boy used to be, long ago,
wrapped in sheets warm and wet.

Blister, please, with those wings in your spine,
love to be with a brother of mine,
how he'd love to find your tongue in his teeth
in a struggle to find
secret songs that you keep
wrapped in boxes so tight,
sounding only at night as you sleep.

And in my dreams you're alive and you're crying,
as your mouth moves in mine, soft and sweet,
rings of flowers round your eyes
and I’ll love you for the rest of your life (when you’re ready)

Brother see we are one and the same,
and you left with your head filled with flames
and you watched as your brains
fell out through your teeth,
push the pieces in place
make your smile sweet to see,
don’t you take this away
I’m still wanting my face on your cheek.

And when we break
we’ll wait for our miracle,
God is a place where some holy spectacle lies.
And when we break
we’ll wait for our miracle,
God is a place you will wait for the rest of your life.

Two-headed boy,
she is all you could need,
she will feed you tomatoes
and radio wire,
and retire to sheets safe and clean,
but don’t hate her when she gets up to leave.

baby

Jan. 24th, 2016 11:25 pm
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I fear that no life will ever be like this again
Cause your love kept me alive and it made me insane

--
Random points:


  • Took almost the entire weekend off, but now have to work at  midnight to make up for it

  • Finally watched GANTZ. I semi-regret it. What a depressing story. I don't like seeing sad, heartbroken, beaten-up Nino.

  • Told S I don't know when I will be back.

  • I miss Bek.

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Come they told me,
A new born King to see,
Our finest gifts we bring,
To lay before the King,

So to honour Him,
When we come.

Little Baby,
I am a poor boy too,
I have no gift to bring,
That's fit to give a king,

Shall I play for you,
On my drum?

Mary nodded,
The ox and lamb kept time,
I played my drum for Him,
I played my best for Him,

Then He smiled at me,
Me and my drum.

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Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away

But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night

Because I'm still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon

When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
Then when we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart

But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eye

Because I'm still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon

Because I'm still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon
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I know you try
You fly straight into my heart
You fly straight into my heart
But here comes the fall
So much for make-believe, I'm not sold
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Don't let yourself be hurt this time
Don't let yourself be hurt this time

Then i saw your face
Then i saw your smile

The sky is still blue
The clouds come and go
Yet something is different
Are we falling in love?

Don't let yourself be hurt this time
Don't let yourself be hurt this time

Then your kiss so soft
Then your touch so warm

The stars still shine bright
The mountains still high
Yet something is different
Are we falling in love?

Falling
Falling
Are we falling in love?

Falling
Falling
Are we falling in love?
splendid_season: (Default)
 As part of my healthy smoothie happy kick, here's what I made this morning:



fresh blueberry banana vanilla yogurt smoothie. I was feeling light-headed, and just one sip perked me right up :)

I've also been drinking quite a lot of this:



avocado-banana smoothie (with soy milk vanilla and agave.) I also tried an avocado-banana vanilla yogurt and honey combination. sooo good. :)

Oh and <3 :



Screen shot from my copy of Heima. :)

My song of the day, thought, is from Jonsi's solo-effort Go. Animal Arithmetic:


Wake up, comb my hair
Making food disappear
Riding bikes, making out
Elephants run you down

You and I run away, blushing cheeks
Howling wolves, colourful fireworks

Every time, everyone, everything's full of life
Everyday, everywhere, people are so alive

--

Have a nice day, everyone! :)
splendid_season: (Default)
The past two weeks, or more, building strength again slowly - they've scared me.
I avoid talking about this, although it is my story to tell. I am not as delicate as you will think I am, and I need to believe that I am stronger than I feel. I shouldn't look for reasons anymore. I don't want to. But, more than anything, I don't want to look for an end.

As things stand now, it seems I will never tell you about this, you won't tell me I'm stronger than I think I am, won't be called on to meet the demands of this situation.

Enough.

--

I have always had a thing for farms. Or maybe fields would be a more appropriate term. Wide open spaces - they represent freedom. Driving past, I used to imagine running through, arms spread wide. How long would it take me to reach that point in the horizon? I want to own a field, somewhere I can go to anytime I feel like lying down in wild grass. But I want my field to be dotted with trees, here and there. I like climbing trees. I like climbing. In Chuyo, what remains of my family's ancestral land (and they are on the verge of taking this away from us), my cousins and I used to run through hills of grass and climb the rocks left from times when even the Cordillera was underwater.

Today is Cordillera Day.

When my twin and I were younger, we would go and sing during the annual celebration.



Aanak ti Kordilyera (Children of the Cordillera)
Aanak iti daga (Children of the land)

or

Ina apay a nagadu (Mother, why are there so many)
ti makina ditoy ayan tayo? (machines, here where we are?)
anya kadi ti aramiden da? (what are they going to do?)

My brother's song about land rights, not mining.



or

Ti Kabanbantayan (The mountains)
Kayo, bakir, karayan (Trees, forests, rivers)
Amin a kinabaknang (All the riches of the land)
Tawid Kaigorotan (Heritage of Kaigorotan)

My song, Remember Your Children.

I remember the day my aunty Judy first called me into her room and asked me to sing that song. She had a guitar with her, and she kept adjusting the pitch - higher and higher, as far as my vocal chords could be stretched:

Remember your children
Remember our future
Remember your children
Remember mother nature

You look at the forests
You look at the trees
Is it money, is it business?
Is it profit that you see?

You say you need the power
And you draw up all your plans
You look at the rivers
And you think of building dams

You look at the mountains
Full of riches, so you're told
Do you think of the children
Or is it only the gold?







---

I remember my childhood, at home in the mountains, in the Cordillera :-)

silently

Apr. 3rd, 2008 05:27 pm
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Silently, I wish to sail into your port, I am your sailor
Quietly, I drop my weight into your sea, I drop my anchor
I sway in your waves, I sing in your sleep
I stay till I'm in your life

I realize now you're not to be blamed my love
You didn't choose your name my love
You never crossed the seven seas
I realize now you're not to be blamed my love
You didn't choose your name my love
You never crossed the seven seas

Oh, sweet creature
I know exactly how you feel
Your clock is ticking, tick tock tick tock
Your heart is beating tum tum tum tum tum

Silently, I wish to sail into your port, I am your sailor
Quietly, I drop my weight into your sea, I drop my anchor

I realize now you're not to be blamed at all
You didn't choose your name my love
You die a little in my arm
I realize now you're not to be blamed at all
You didn't choose your name my love
We never crossed the seven seas
I realize now you die a little in my arm
Before you even taste my love
We never crossed the seven seas
I realize now you’re not to be blamed at all
You didn't choose your name my love
You die a little in my arm
I realize now

- 'Silently', Blonde Redhead

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