my splendid season

Hokkaido is <3, probably my favorite place in Japan.

















--

I'm still feeling a confused sort of happiness (and fear) about Vietnam.
It will be a big adjustment mainly because I'm such a shy person and it will be my first time living on my own in a foreign country for more than a few months at a time.
Still, I am very very thankful -- the job is a dream come true for me (and my parents). 

I got the Vietnam job. Now putting together the requirements for the pre-offer >> negotiations >> formal offer.
I'm thankful, this is all because of Him, by His will.
At the same time, I feel strangely less elated than I thought I would.
Hmmm. Maybe it's because I waited so long for the decision that some of my excitement died, but I'm sure my heart will pick up speed when the pre-offer finally comes.

Back from wintry Japan. It was <3 as usual.
I love Hokkaido.
I wonder when I'll be able to go back.

Life is good.
Major deliverable submitted last week, praise the Lord. I can take a break from that for a while, pending questions/requests for revision.
Got a present for the kids of the lady who has been helping take care of our household matters for more than ten years... that felt good. Sometimes I feel like there is no act of kindness that is completely unselfish because you still do these things to feel good or to ease your suffering. Like my donations to animal welfare organizations and sponsorship of rescued animals - I can't really call it unselfish, because seeing suffering animals depresses me. And doing something for them helps ease my pain. But this present for our ate's kids -- I feel convinced that it's one thing I did without getting anything in return (except, obviously, now I can write this and feel good about what I did).
But I do a ton of stuff for myself as well, come to think of it. I treated myself to a major thing this week. And then... I'm back in Ho Chi Minh (but this is for work). Still, it was such a comfortable trip!
And Viet Nam... for some reason... always feels like home.
I lived here for a few months in 2011 and made some very good friends; is that why?
I love it here.
I was semi-forced to stay in an expensive hotel tonight because this is where my boss is staying and we're leaving for the field early tomorrow and it would be too much hassle for me to take a taxi from another hotel to her hotel... so I gave in and just booked here as well. Because of this, I will not be able to save any of my per diem. Oh well. Sometimes, we just have to choose the path of least resistance.

I've also been thinking... I was talking to my mom a few weeks ago about how I've never made any friends by myself in the gym, even after going to the same one for almost 9 years. My mom, on the other hand, quickly made acquintances at the gym she's been going to for just two years or so. I asked her why, and she said that maybe it's because I don't look at people. And it's true. I don't go to the gym to make friends but the real reason I don't make eye contact is because I am a very insecure person. It's true. At the office, I generally don't look at people either. So after my mom brought that bad habit of mine to my attention, I tried making eye contact with people I meet in the corridors at work, and found that it really does make a difference. So yesterday, I ended up talking to two random people and all because of making eye contact. To be honest, I was only that pleasant because I mistook them for someone I ought to know (namely, my mentor's husband), so I was like all smiley and they were all smiley in return, and then I was like "are you Frank?" And they were like "no, I"m not Frank -- Oh, so that's why you greeted me so nicely". haha :)) So yeah, I should be friendlier.

Another lesson learned - prioritizing my health has helped me claw back my sanity. I burnt out but I couldn't afford to stop working, which the doctor actually said I HAD to do since I was in really bad shape, but I tried to do things in moderation - I've been paying attention to signals from my mind and body; I stop working when I hit a certain point of not thinking quickly enough; I've been exercising a little bit. And I feel so much better. I feel that I'm more productive as well. So now I live in fear of burnout. And only because it hurts my productivity. I'm not sure if that's ironic. But whatever. As long as it helps me stay healthy.. :))

Back from a week-long work trip to an IP area in the Philippine Cordillera.
Lost my temper during a meeting with government officials, and felt terrible afterwards, so I asked my best friends if they could meet up tonight when I get back to Baguio City.
Had this for dinner:



Plus talk of both serious and light things.
Everything is so easy when I'm with them.
But then - some of us have known each other since we were 5 years old.. and we've all been best friends since we were 14 years old, which is almost 20 years ago.

I feel loved and blessed.
And now, back to work - have to submit a report tonight.

Wrote this in response to a link on facebook describing "Five Books that Dump You into a Pit of Despair":

I tend to stay away from books that I know will be absolutely depressing, because I really don't like sad stories. But I read the Handmaid's Tale, and it didn't quite 'plunge me into a pit of despair' (I actually found 'The Robber Bride' more emotionally affecting). The 'sad' books I've read that stand out because of how they affected me are 1) 'Waiting' by Ha Jin; 2) 'The God of Small Things' by Arundhati Roy; 3) 'Shalimar the Clown', by Salman Rushdie; 4) 'A Separate Peace', by John Knowles; 5) 'The Good Earth' by Pearl S. Buck.
'Cloud Atlas' by David Mitchell was pretty sad as well, actually. The movie is very different.
Recently, 'The Snow Child', by Eowyn Ivey.

I will update with more details on each novel tomorrow.

Did some quick internet research on one of the books listed on the "books that will plunge you..." site - "The Girl Next Door", which was based on a true story. The interpretation as well as the true story are both unbelievably horrifying. The movie, "An American Crime" was also based on those same events. *shudder*

--
I was able to get some work done today, but was not able to finish everything I wanted to.
A Filipina lady I met the other day (staying at the same hotel) told me this morning that I "work so hard" (she's seen me working on my laptop during breakfast two days in a row). I hope I can still be considered hard-working. I worry about becoming lazy, losing focus, not being as efficient as I used to be.
No evidence of that so far... no one has criticized me at work, and I only have one project that is seriously behind schedule, but slipped deadlines are not always my fault...

I'm worried about this one project. I feel we really need to push back the date of project closure, so that we have a little room to breathe. I will email people on this tomorrow. :(

Now, sleep.
I woke up this morning right before my dream reached its climax -- I was just about to step into a Sigur Ros concert. For some reason, in my dream, Arashi was also scheduled to hold a concert in that same city, and I was thinking that they (Sigur Ros and Arashi) are somehow always linked. In real life, however, my (true) love for them is probably the only link between the two groups. :))

G'nyt.